Halloween. THIS is my vacation.
In the event you’ve ever questioned what it’s like within the thoughts of a pony, marvel no extra. Listed below are the hilarious inside workings of a sassy and opinionated pony named Pony.
Illustration by Jenny Kammerer. Yow will discover her on Instagram at @jennykammart.
Expensive Diary,
It’s been a minute, however now there’s a purpose to jot down. Halloween. Lastly — a vacation worthy of my abilities.
The opposite horses have spent all day leaping sideways at sweet wrappers and trembling on the sound of dry leaves scuttling throughout the bottom. Pathetic. You’d assume they had been auditioning for The Exorcist: Equine Version. One among them snorted so exhausting at a plastic pumpkin that he practically flipped himself inside out. Actually, it’s a marvel that any of them survive turnout.
In the meantime, I’ve objective.
Because the solar set and the wind started to rattle the timber, I donned my Michael Myers masks (Beta Human calls it “disturbing” — I name it “inspiring”) and took up my publish within the shadows. The fools by no means noticed me. I waited… affected person, silent, magnificent.
Then — motion. The massive gelding, the one who thinks he’s so courageous, ambled by the treeline. I let loose a low breath and stepped ahead simply sufficient for the moonlight to catch the gleam of the masks. The sound he made might solely be described as a cross between a bugle and a kettle whistle. He bolted. I’ve by no means been prouder.
The others joined in, in fact — herd mentality at its most interesting. Off they went, galloping in terrified circles, manes flying, eyes rolling. I, in fact, stood completely nonetheless. Just like the icon I’m.
Beta Human got here operating out, flashlight in hand, muttering about “ghosts” and “ridiculous ponies.” If solely she knew. I stood there within the timber, the masks barely askew, and watched her journey over a mounting block. Scrumptious.
Tomorrow, they’ll all discuss in regards to the “ghost of the pasture” and the “curse of Halloween evening.” Allow them to. I’ll be in my stall, chewing contentedly on my alfalfa, sporting the masks round my neck like a medal of honor.
Till subsequent time, Diary. Could the people by no means study, and the horses by no means cease offering leisure.
Malevolently (and festively),Pony 🎃